Democrats search for
exciting new ways to lose
WASHINGTON - After a devastating 2004 campaign, Democrats all across
the nation are looking to new party leadership with only one question on
their minds: What is the future of the Democratic Party?

"It’s a real concern. People look at 2004 and think we are permanently
doomed to self-perpetuating failure," said Howard Dean, the party’s
incoming chair. "But in fact, failure like that takes effort. Lots and lots of
careful effort."

New Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.) agrees, noting that while
the Dems most recent electoral disaster, in which they lost seats in both
houses of Congress and were defeated at the presidential level once
again, may seem total, reasons for optimism still lurk dangerously below
the surface.

"Yes, we lost but the formerly red state of New Hampshire went our way
and the race was very tight in Nevada, Iowa and New Mexico," Reid said
glumly. "We were a lot closer to winning than most people like to think."

Others echoed those sentiments, pointing out that the party’s presidential
nominee has won more popular votes then the GOP in three of the last four
elections. They also note the presence of rising new stars like Barack
Obama who present frightening prospects for future success. Some say
such signs mean that the party cannot afford to rest on its lack of laurels
and should move back to proven formulas for defeat and humiliation.

"We need to return to the party’s traditions if we are to stay weak," said Sen.
Barbara Boxer (D-Calif.) "Sure, people point to the John Kerrys and Tom
Daschles and say 'Look, we can lose.' but where are the the Jimmy Carters
and Mike Dukakises of tomorrow? Yeah, Kerry is a failure but with all due
respect he's no Walter Mondale."

Sen. Obama (D-Ill.) agrees saying that his easy victory over Alan Keyes in
last year's Senate race set a disturbing precedent.

"Many have pointed to my opponent's bizarre behavior and extremist views
but that's little comfort," a dejected Obama said. "In 2010, I look forward to
an Illinois where even Alan Keyes can win."

Rep. John Conyers (D-Mich.) also looks to the future. Conyers, who has
spent the past several months investigating alleged voting irregularities in
Ohio and Florida, said he has reached some disturbing conclusions about
the contest of 2004.

"The Republicans may have stolen this election," he said. "That is simply
unacceptable. We have to take the initiative to invest in candidates who can
lose without a single fraudulent ballot being cast."

"We’ve been unlucky so far," he added. "But I worry."

Others however are reassuringly pessimistic about the Democrats’ road to
the future. Despite the closeness of the election, some note that recurrent
Democratic fears of electoral triumph are unfounded.

"They faced a politically-wounded president who lied to get us into the worst
military quagmire since Vietnam, turned record surpluses into deficits and
transformed the best peacetime economy in history into a recession," said
political science professor Ogden Perry. "They put up an articulate,
decorated war hero with a distinguished record in the Senate and still lost
against a guy who could barely form complete sentences."

"We're not dealing with amateurs here," he added.

Ken Mehlman, Republican National Committee chair, also thinks that the
Democrats' prospects for defeat remain high and cites last year’s
primaries, in which Sens. John Edwards and John Kerry vied for the
nomination, as proof.

"Faced with a choice between an optimistic Southerner with movie star
good looks and appealing rustic roots and a uncharismatic, effete
Massachusetts, ex-war protester liberal, they made the selection that best
fit the party's needs," said Mehlman. "This is an electorate that knows how
to lose."

"Now, it looks like it'll be Hillary in '08," Mehlman added with a giggle and a
faraway look in his eye. "Oh, wow."

But new party leader Howard Dean isn’t taking anything for granted. He's
already set out on a mission to put the Democratic party into minority status
for a long, long time to come.

"We got 48 percent of the vote in 2004. Nearly half the country wasn't turned
off by our relentless negativity and lack of any coherent agenda for the
nation," he said. "Clearly, we have a lot of work to do."
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